Recently I read a comment by a successful novelist who said that he had been greatly helped in creating female characters in his books by noting the psyche, outlook, opinions, prejudices and beliefs of the women within his family.

In this direction, I have always struggled; for until our grandchildren came along, there has been but two of the distaff side to whom I have been closely related – my dear, gentle mother, Ada, and my beloved wife, Ann. For I had two brothers, but no sisters (thus, with my father, there were five of us, a quartet of whom were male) whilst Ann and I have four sons, but no daughters.

As a result, the subjects discussed, analysed and prioritised in both the home of my parents and of my wife and myself, have been those probably (historically) more associated with the male of the species, such as sport (especially football), politics, current affairs and such like. Much of the talk will have been both negative and judgemental in nature, all too often lacking the compassion, perception and generosity of spirit which would more likely exist in an abode where women were in the majority – although Ann would always make her views known and often debate us males into a corner! Indeed, she has over the years done much to curb bias in myself and install, successfully, tolerance, broad-mindedness and respect for others in our sons.

Yet she, like my mother, will never get to experience the tie, the bond, the affinity which so often exists between mother and daughter. A boy or young man will rarely discuss with either parent that which troubles or upsets him, but a girl so often will with her mother, and the lives of both are enriched because of this. It is, too, a bond which exists generally for a lifetime.

There is an old adage which, when observing the world and folk about me, I believe to be doused in accuracy; it is said that, ‘A son is a son until he takes him a wife, but a daughter’s a daughter all of your life.’ This obviously is not a universal truth, for I know of mums and their female progeny who assuredly do not get on – in some instances in a bitter, irreconcilable way. Generally, however, the bond between them is cast in the finest of steel and will never be broken.

Mind you, this is not to say a son upon marriage is influenced by his wife to forsake his parents; assuredly not the case with Ann and myself, for all four of our sons partners are delightful ladies with whom we have a splendid relationship. Regarding our ‘boys’, as we grow older, they are always there for us, giving us love and support; regularly they keep in touch and both of us know that, to an extent, ‘our very wish is their command’.

Their priorities though – rightly – have to be the welfare of their own family; it is what duty and commitment is all about. Thus, whilst the bond between mother and son can be unbreakable and eternal, the subtleties, concerns and outlook of a woman and man – especially a younger one – can rarely be in total accord.

Such a situation in our family, although never an issue of any great measure, has in recent years redressed itself most agreeably. For whilst Ann and I produced only sons, our progeny and their wives have brought into the world a surfeit of daughters – five as opposed to just two grandsons. Two of the grand-daughters are in their twenties and whilst they are ever gentle with, and respectful of, their doddery old grandad, their affinity and rapport with Ann is very close, and to mutual interest and advantage. They discuss with her things which it is unlikely they would ever speak of to a man – personal relationships, health and emotional issues, likes and dislikes, hopes and desires, plus practical everyday matters such as fashion and the setting up of home.

With the younger granddaughters – all three now teenagers – Ann also has a deep, mutually rewarding kinship. It is a touch different, of course, from that which she has with the older duo, ladies who are out in the world and thus are already aware of life’s ‘ups and downs’. The younger trio are at present taking faltering steps along the, so often, mine strewn road leading to adulthood and here, although she has only brought up teenage sons – a very different challenge – Ann is able to assist in the guidance and mental welfare of these girls. In her perceptive and caring way, she appears always to be adept at tuning into the wavelength of these lasses, even though they are two generations younger.

This is an ability I envy. As I’ve alluded to earlier in this article, I find it hard with my inherent insensitivity to access the wavelength of the female of the species. Perhaps such is summed up by the saying that women are influenced by Venus (Goddess of love), but men by Mars (God of war). Whatever, thank God for ladies – and personally, for Ann.